Let's Try Anal
Slightly taboo and very naughty, anal sex could be just the thing you need to spice up your sex life. The pleasure of anal sex has both mental and physical aspects. How do dirty thoughts make you feel? Sexy? You’re not alone. Doing something “nasty” in the bedroom appeals to many people, and can be a major turn-on.
The physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. Did you know that your rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to reward you with good feelings when stimulated? For men, the prostate gland can also be a source of powerful pleasure. As for that hard-working, thrusting penis, the ring of the anus (actually made up of two sphincters) can be a new and exciting sensation to enjoy. If done properly, anal sex will not cause pain. In fact, the pleasure of anal sex can be incredibly intense.
While many people are curious enough to try anal sex (experts estimate one in four straight couples have had anal sex), few go about it the right way. The unfortunate result? They have a negative experience, and never do it again.
To avoid the same regrettable outcome, make sure you have a partner who shares your interest in anal sex, and then follow these tried and true tips to maximize your anal pleasure.
Play it Safe
To practice safe anal sex, there are some issues you need to take very seriously. First, let’s have a little anatomy lesson. The lining of the rectum is delicate and tears more easily than the lining of the vagina. Tears can result in severe pain, and in extreme cases, incontinence. A word to the wise: the rectum does not self-lubricate like the vagina. To avoid tearing and discomfort, always use lube! More on that later.
So now that you know a little about your ass, how do you keep it safe during anal play?
- Rule #1: Whatever touches the anus shouldn’t be touching anything else. Never, I repeat, NEVER take the penis out of the anus and put it into the vagina or the mouth. That can lead to serious infections and other nasty complications.
- Rule #2: After any kind of anal play, you should immediately change condoms and wash the relevant body parts thoroughly.
- Rule #3: Always use a condom. STDs are a major concern with anal sex. This isn’t just limited to AIDS; herpes, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. can all be transmitted through anal sex. You shouldn’t be having anal sex without a condom; it’s not worth the risk to either partner.
More Lube, Please!
Unlike the vagina, the anus isn’t self-lubricating: you need to supply the slippery stuff. And, the more lube you use, the better. It will make the initial penetration much easier and less painful for your partner and make the whole experience, for both of you, much more pleasant. Anal sex is not the time to worry about keeping the sheets clean – don’t be stingy with the lube! The most common suggestion we hear is to use LOTS of it.
All kinds of lube are used for anal sex, from spit to Vaseline to high-tech silicone-based lubes. We’d strongly recommend spending a little money to get a high quality water based lubricant. Remember, an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline will degrade the latex in a condom, destroying its usefulness.
Think those condoms that come pre-lubricated will get the job done? Sorry – it’s just not so. Lubricated condoms typically don’t offer as much lube as we’d recommend for anal sex.
You may come across some lubes designed especially for anal sex that include an anesthetic to numb the receiving partner’s sensation and make anal sex less painful. We advise against these products. Pain is a way of your body telling you that something’s wrong. If you’re in pain during anal sex, you need to focus on solving the root problem, not anesthetizing yourself so it’s easier to endure.
Although it’s a perfect fit for a vagina, a penis is awfully big to be the first thing used to penetrate an anal virgin. Better to start with something small like a finger, and work your way up to a penis. Use one finger, then two, to acclimate your partner into the pleasures of anal penetration. Try gently stimulating your partner’s anus with the pad of your thumb while giving oral sex. If inserting your finger into the anus, be sure your fingernails are trimmed, and don’t forget the lube. Some folks even wear latex gloves.
As your partner gets used to your fingers, consider taking your anal play to the next level using a butt plug or a small vibrator. Vibrators are available in all shapes and sizes, and the extra buzz can provide immense amounts of pleasure thanks to all those nerve endings located in the anus. If you’re not buying for yourself, go shopping with your partner to get one your partner thinks s/he can handle.
Always remember – never put the vibrator into the vagina after putting it into the anus. The safest way to use a vibrator is to put a condom on the vibrator before using it, and to wash it thoroughly immediately after. To learn how to clean and take proper care of your toys.
Patience is a Virtue
A lot of anal aficionados recommend only attempting anal sex after ample foreplay and vaginal penetration has occurred. The more relaxed your partner is, the better your anal sex will be. In addition, your partner needs to know that s/he, as the receiver, is always in control during anal play – s/he sets the pace of sex, picks the position, and decides when s/he has had enough. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open so that your partner shares how s/he is feeling.
A technique that is commonly recommended to anal newbies is the “Stop and Go.” Begin by very slowly pushing the tip of your penis into the anus about an inch and then STOP. Wait a minute, then ease out slightly and slowly begin to push forward again, this time inserting your penis about 2 inches into the anus. Wait again, then ease out slightly and push forward.
Patiently waiting allows your partner’s anus to adjust to the size of your penis and the new sensation it brings. Your partner will feel relaxed and comfortable and may even start to push back, letting you know that s/he is ready for a little more! Continue in this manner until your entire penis is inside the anus, and then start to thrust back and forth very slowly. For added pleasure, encourage your partner to masturbate and stimulate her clitoris while she is being penetrated.
Don’t forget to keep your lube nearby. You may feel that you need some more and don’t want to spoil the moment by having to get up and search for it.
Clean the Pipes
Before having anal sex, your partner should have a complete bowel movement. If s/he doesn’t, you may find yourself encountering far more fecal matter than you might have liked (i.e. packing the fudge). For most of us, pooping on command is not the easiest thing, and straining to defecate is not healthy. If you really want to clean things out in a hurry, you can purchase an enema from any drug store. There’s some controversy about this; some people feel having an enema first can actually increase the irritation during anal sex. If you do choose to go the enema route, we’d recommend doing it several hours before you plan to have anal sex, rather than right before the act.
If you and your partner plan to make anal play part of your sex life, consider a change in diet. Why? What does food have to do with my ass? Fiber, especially the insoluble kind (found in whole wheat, whole bran, nuts, and many vegetables), promotes the movement of food through the digestive track. It also makes your stool softer, and easier to pass.
So there you have it, folks. A few tips and tricks to help you explore a whole new world of pleasure. Who knew the ass could be so rewarding? We’d love to hear about your experience – leave us a comment to share your kinky stories!