9 Reasons She Wants to Have Sex With You
Remember when you first discovered sex? In your 6-year-old mind, your parents had done the dirty twice—once to conceive you, and a second time to crank out your little sister. Then, around the 6th grade, you realized that propagation is only a small part of sex. In fact, it’s just one of 237 reasons humans hook up, according to a recent University of Texas study. Although you don’t need a white coat to explain why you love sex, her motivations for sealing the deal often seem rather . . . mysterious. Fortunately for you, the researchers surveyed hundreds of women to pull back the sheet on sex. Here are the top 15 reasons she sleeps with you, and how to, ahem, encourage her along.
1. You're a Good Kisser
Your move: So what if you're not a hormonal 16-year-old. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session—in fact, a well-executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. According to a recent study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, women are far less likely than men to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds easy enough, right? Not so fast, cowboy—her definition of a stellar smooch may differ from yours. The researchers found that guys preferred wetter kisses with more tongue action than females did. Here's what turns her crank: A partner who makes the first move, smells fresh, and caresses her while kissing. Oh, and pop in a breath mint. Women rated the taste of someone's mouth as more important when deciding to continue kissing than men did.
2. You Caress Her
Your move: Stroke her forearm first. This area of the arm is packed with pleasure nerves that respond best to a touch traveling 1 to 10 centimeters per second, scientists report in the journal Nature Neuroscience. These “C-tactile” nerve fibers (also found on the legs and face) send signals to the limbic system, an area of the brain associated with trust and affection, says study author Hakan Olausson, M.D.
3. You Make Her Feel Sexy
Your move: Establish your compliments safety zone. "Listen to the things she says about herself. Watch the way she reacts when you touch certain areas," says Chris Fariello, Ph.D, of the Council for Relationships. This clues you in to the body parts she's insecure about—and lets you know where to tread lightly. "You may give a compliment, but she can turn it around and hear a negative," he says. "If she's self-conscious about her butt, and you say, 'You have a great, round butt,' she hears fat, not great." When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to universal compliments like, "Your butt looks great in those jeans."
4. She's in a Romantic Setting
Your move: You know the old cliché: Whisk her away to an exotic location, and you're sure to score. That’s probably true, but not for the reasons you may think. It’s less the destination, and more the shared intimacy of "otherness"—or of being outsiders—that sets the mood, according to a 2005 study in the journal Tourism Management. Book a trip for two to a foreign country, and prearrange a tour guided by a local, which creates a greater sense of intimacy and disclosure, the scientists say.
5. Feel Emotionally Close or Connected
Your move: Start foreplay outside the bedroom—by raving about the free donuts at the office this morning. Sharing upbeat details about your day strengthens a relationship, say researchers at the University of Utah. Talking and listening “helps maintain emotional intimacy,” explains study co-author Angela Hicks, Ph.D. The study also found that venting about stressful incidents didn’t dampen a partner’s mood.
6. She Thinks It's Fun
Your move: First, show her how fun you can be outside the bedroom. A recent study in The Journal of Psychology found that women were 25 percent more likely to consider a man attractive if he had a good sense of humor, and were 31 percent more likely to consider him a suitable mate. Try exchanging naughty jokes via email while you're apart—this adds an element of fun to your all-day foreplay.
7. She Needs Release or Feels Horny
Your move: Propose a horror movie marathon. "Being scared is physiologically arousing, and in the right company, it may eventually carry over to sexual arousal," says Joanne Cantor, Ph.D., a professor emerita of communications at the University of Wisconsin, who studies the ways people are affected by media. After the movie, she may find your glances more erotically charged and your touches more stimulating, she says. If your date isn't into over-the-top terror, à la Saw VI, watch classic thrillers instead, like The Silence of the Lambs.
8. She's Attracted to You
Your move: If you hope to take her home, you better play nice—tough guys don't wow women, a recent study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found. When researchers presented women with scenarios of men being harassed or insulted by other men, they preferred the guys that detached themselves from trouble. Someone spill your drink at the bar? Clean up, walk away, and slowly smile at her as you pass. Guys who let a smile spread across their face were rated as more attractive and trustworthy than those who flashed a grin, according to a 2007 British study. "Women see this subtle delay as being more genuine," says study author Eva Krumhuber, Ph.D. To reinforce that perception, tilt your head slightly sideways when you smile, a move that tells her you're caring, not conceited.
9. She Wants to Experience Pleasure
Your move: Give her a massage to trigger blood flow down below—in her feet, that is. Women need to warm up their feet and feel comfortable before they’re in the mood for sex, a 2003 European study found. To truly sweep her off her feet, follow these 4 steps to a sexy foot massage.