Habits of Highly Sexual Couples

Couples that continue to engage in regular sexual activity at a higher level tend to maintain their health and wellness (including sleep). As their relationship develops they will also likely find ways to associate deeper connections and intimacy from intercourse and related sexual activity.

Make Time and Be Open

Highly sexual couples have the time and place to have regular sex. For instance, some couples may have a high sex drive, but the challenges of their schedule (particularly raising children and taking care of family) limit the times they can be intimate and not disturbed. Highly sexual couples also tend to be more open-minded about their sexuality and have fewer body image challenges (in general).

For some couples, they may participate in certain lifestyle activities (such as BDSM or “lifestyle/swinging” related activities) that cause them to have continued high levels of sexual activity.

Here are 2 great ways to keep intimacy (and often as a result sexual activity) going in a relationship:

Make sure to keep touching and hugging each other; particularly in a non-sexual way.

Make it a point each morning to give her what I call an “intimacy massage” for about 10 minutes. It’s basically a “sensual touch” massage that doesn’t end in sexual activity. It is very good for increasing affection and connection.

If they try the above suggestions, it will help for most people. In fact it usually really helps couples reignite intimacy.

This was part of my grad research on helping anorgasmic women. It is a variation of the “sensate focusing” technique created by Masters & Johnson, but I added specific routines that follow certain nerve tracks for relaxation and arousal.

This is profoundly effective for increasing oxytocin levels and decreasing stress

Multiple studies have shown that oxytocin (the “love hormone”) levels profoundly effect how you feel about your partner. Daily stress increases cortisol (the “stress hormone”), while oxytocin makes you feel good and counteracts the effects of cortisol.

The best ways to increase oxytocin are to achieve orgasm, and to experience close, intimate touching. One study found that women with a particular gene that caused differences in how their brain reacted to oxytocin and vassopressin were much more likely to cheat and leave their relationship.

Regular orgasms and touching increases oxytocin, which keeps that love feeling going and has many health benefits.

Make it a ritual (or fun habit) to have both intimate times “for each other,” and then separate pamper times where one partner makes sure to take care of the other’s needs — just because.

As life goes on, particularly with children and work challenges, couples get less and less intimate time together. Many times, as well, one partner won’t understand what the other person’s cues are, and frequently one partner will want to initiate things with the other, but the other partner is tired or not in the mood. Then later when the previously tired partner is in the mood they don’t clearly express it, and the other partner doesn’t “get the hint.” This leads to all sorts of problems and makes life more stressful when it doesn’t have to be.

One great way to make things more adventurous and fun for the long term is to agree to three “events.”

First have a “date night” where the coupled does something they both like and are intimate together later.

Then have a “just for you time.” Here, one partner is just pampered however they want to be. For some this might just be a 15-minute back massage, for others it might be sexual. If one partner isn’t in the mood for sexual activity they can always just think of stimulating their partner manually or orally.

Ideally these three rituals should happen at least once a month (or more) where the couple has their “both of us time” and then separate “pamper them for whatever they need” time.

If the giving partner focuses on doing this because they care about the other person and want to make them happy, feel good and relaxed it helps them enjoy the process. The receiving partner can view it as a “special spa break” from the normal stresses of life.

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