We all hope to meet that special someone who will complement our life and share our dreams with us. And we hope that our SO will be compatible in all aspects of our lives, our culture, our morals and of course, our sex lives.

But what happens if we are not sexually compatible? What if our sexual desires and interests don’t match? Is our relationship doomed?

According to Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Sexologist and Relationship Expert, sexual compatibility is essential for keeping a relationship strong, but it’s something you can work on together, as a couple. In order to stay in sync with each other, you should have regular discussions about the three F’s:

  1. Frequency: How often do you and your partner want to have sex? If one wants it more than the other, then you need to work it out so that you are both happy.
  2. Feelings: What kind of feelings do you want to get out of sex? Do you want sex to make you feel loved, desired, needed, secure or something else? Make sure you are getting the right vibes from your sex.
  3. Fantasies: Share your fantasies with each other. Dr Jess’s video explains how fantasies can be an indicator of compatibility. Check it out here: Are your sexual fantasies ‘normal’?

Sexual compatibility is all about finding balance in your sex life — from sexual desire to fulfilling each other’s sexual needs. Once you have figured out what works, then go for it!  As long as you both agree and everything is consensual. Whether you are completely vanilla, or extremely kinky. Whether you have sex daily, weekly or monthly, in missionary position or every KamaSutra position in the book. As long as it works for you, it’s all good!


Radio Show Guest Dr. Jess O'Reilly sexually compatible couples
Dr. Jess is a Toronto-based sexologist, television personality and award-winning speaker. She has worked with thousands of couples from all over the world to transform their relationships. Dr. Jess is also an accomplished author with three best-selling titles. Her latest, The New Sex Biblehas received rave reviews from professionals and clients alike and her first book Hot Sex Tips,Tricks and Licks is in its fourth print! Look for her monthly column in Post City or catch her on Tuesday mornings on Global TV’s The Morning Show, Wednesdays on 102.1 The Edge and Saturdays on PlayboyTV.

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